The Feeling

Dear My Life,

I know the feeling to be lonely
I know the feeling of giving up for something that I love
I know the feeling of regret the wrong choice 
I know the feeling to be looser
I know the feeling of sacrifice my life for the sake of others happiness
I know the feeling of been betray
I know the feeling to be left behide
I know the feeling of not to be trust for what I do with full of honesty
I know the feeling to have no one to talk and no arm to hold
Painful...


Yes...I experienced it most of the time in my life.
Thousand of bad feeling that upset me and turn me down.
Most of hurt feeling come when I'm overflow with joy and happiness.
Like taking away your breath and letting you die in pain...slowly.

I even asking GOD.. "why you hate me that much..?!"

I even hating myself and every inch of me. Keep question myself...

"Why am i born into this world..why I didn't choose death instead?"
"Am I not qualify to be loved or to fall in love even a piece of heart?"
"What have I done wrong..?!"

But...GOD do love me. Let me tell how....

He answering all of my question with His own way.
He never leave me like what everyone do. So I can feel His warmest. Peacefully...
He surprising me with replacing the better thing/way that I giving up before.
He closed the wrong path and creating new happiness with little adventure at first road.
He teach to be looser to warn me not to be arrogant and keep myself feel peaceful with low profile.
He teach me how to be a sincere person and pleased whatever happen to my life.
He give me painful of been betray and that I will not doing it to others. Never give up.
He warn me to give HIM priority than others. None in this world can grant anything for me.
He teach me to trust ONLY to HIM and relay ONLY to HIM.
He give me such wonderful Mak and Ayah who's the first to introduce who is HIM.

This is what I call..true love story never ending~ ALLAH S.W.T

One fine day....I want to see the smiling face of HIM while I walk toward HIM.
I want to holding hand with who introduce me to HIM and who love me because of HIM.
I want to smile as big as I can.
Because that day is my forever day of happiness.
No more hurt. No more lie. InshaAllah.


Honest and Warmest Regard,
~Humble Servant~